Indigoe (beindigoe) wrote in poetry_orgy,
Indigoe
beindigoe
poetry_orgy

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Terpsichore

She waltzes with the concrete
banana peels, empty bottles, gravel.
It's Friday night and the hordes descend
again, she flamencos across rooftops
the zigs zags iron rungs of the
fire escapes, Merengue billowing before the morning's
industrial smoke.
She might be dawn in August
or the tar on the bottom of wingtip taps,
or the street
and she knows how to push it out
like heavy traffic in the burdening heat
a dose of alchemical taffeta methadone,
what you wanted to be.
sage and angry,
serene and purged,
spinning.
But it's too late now
and she won't be your mirror
for the last dance



~~~


i don't think it's done yet, but it's more productivity than i've had in... christ, ages. good enough to satiate me, anyway.
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i like. it's the kind of thing that needs to be read slowly, let the pictures sink in. i think perhaps the "she flamencos" should be preluded with a period rather than a comma. i don't understand the last half...the "she knows how to push it out" is where i start getting confused, because i don't know what "it" is. but i truly do like it...i can see in like a movie in my head...well, at least i can see the parts i understand. beautiful.
SOMEONE'S been playing with their rythym. i'm noticing the big change in your pentameter. which is a good thing. although i can see how it isn't quite finished yet. a few connections to tie together the basic form maybe, but otherwise very beautiful.

which is where the old jealousy kicks in again. i still can't seem to really get the feel for poetry. not like you seem to. it's like i have the theory, but i'm not making the connection. i'm still waiting for that moment of understanding. like when you finally understand how an algebra formula works.

::crosses fingers::
Terpsichore French, for gladdening by way of dancing -- Hellenci Greek, the name of the goddess-like muse of tranquil happiness coming with the dancing and singing.

Ace virtuoso. I love this poem! "Out there man! Truly fantastic like so many flowers."

It would be impolite to use expletives as overly euphemistic expression of: A STANDING BRAVO! red and green -- "sage and anger" [exclnt!]; "serene and purged" [full on extreme] ... "spinning" ... "dance."

You didn't "sign" it and ask if it's done? You know that no one but you *could* know that, right? I think it's done in that it strongly expresses one mood/emotion/thinking/feeling and it does it with superb aplomb. Aplomb, French for perpendicularity, meaning an action done with self-conscious confidence.